


To Make You Feel My Love

by lucy_in_the_sky



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Lives AU, Connor singing, Established Relationship, M/M, Panic Attack, it's basically just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucy_in_the_sky/pseuds/lucy_in_the_sky
Summary: Connor sings Evan to sleep after a panic attack.





	To Make You Feel My Love

Evan was tired. He was always tired after these. Once his panic had gone away, his hands had stopped shaking, and his breath had evened out, all that was left was sheer exhaustion. 

 

His panic attack had hit him just as he and Connor were leaving school. Some dick called them fags and had shoved Connor into a row of lockers. Evan felt useless as his anxiety kicked in and prevented him from stepping in. Connor had gotten up quickly, noticing his boyfriend's rapid breaths and shaking hands. He had ushered the panicking boy out of the building and into his car, driving as fast as laws permitted (and sometimes a little over) until he reached Evan's house. 

 

After unloading his boyfriend onto his bed, Connor grabbed Evan's pills and comforted him while they both waited for the medication to kick in. 

 

They were currently on Evan's bed, Connor's arms wrapped protectively around Evan's small waist, and Evan's head tucked into Connor's chest. He felt comfortable there. Like he fit inside Connor's loving arms. 

 

'You don't deserve a boyfriend this kind. He would be so much better off without you,' 

 

Evan's conscience suddenly spat at him. 

 

'He's done with all your anxiety and is ashamed of how weak you are,' 

 

The sad part was that it was probably true. Evan knows he's been working on not believing that negative voice in the back of his head, but it was really hard when it made a good point. Connor didn't need Evan holding him back. Connor could probably live a better life without Evan's anxious presence. But that's not what Connor would tell Evan. He is constantly saying how much he loves and needs him in his life. Connor would walk Evan to class, not worrying about anyone seeing them together, holding hands. He was always willing to help Evan with his anxiety, no matter what time it was. Evan had even called him at three in the morning one day because he got too stressed over college applications and starting to freak out. And Connor came. 

 

'Begrudgingly, probably,'

 

'Well, maybe. But he was still there. Isn't that what counts?'

 

'Sure, until he stops coming all together,' 

 

It was like a civil war playing out inside Evan's worn out brain. He was trying to remember what Dr. Sherman had taught him about focusing on the good thoughts in his brain, but the bad ones were winning. Before he could be thrown into another panic attack, he blurted out, 

 

"C-could you maybe s-sing to me?" 

 

Connor looked surprised at the request. 

 

"Well, of course, but I'm not that great of a singer," 

 

Evan didn't believe him, that much showed on his face. 

 

Connor chuckled as he leaned down and kissed Evan's forehead before clearing his throat. 

 

"When the rain is blowing in your face 

 

And the whole world is on your case 

 

I could offer you a warm embrace 

 

To make you feel my love. . ."

 

Evan began to relax as he let the soothing melody wash over him. 

 

"When evening shadows and the stars appear,

 

And there is no one to dry your tears 

 

I could hold you for a million years 

 

To make you feel my love. . ." 

 

Evan snuggled closer to Connor's warm body, resting his head against Connor's steady heartbeat. No matter what that little voice tries to tell him, he knows deep down that he's loved. And he loves Connor back just as much. 

 

"I know you haven't made your mind up yet,

 

But I would never do you wrong 

 

I've known it from the moment that we've met

 

There's no doubt in my mind where you belong." 

 

Evan drifted into a light sleep feeling warm and loved, wrapped in the arms of the man who makes him feel like he belongs, like he matters. And there's kind of no better feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I chose for Connor to sing this song because my mom used to sing this to me as a lullaby when I was little. I hope you enjoyed-feedback is always welcome :)


End file.
